This is where I’ll post poems that are humorous. To find out how to submit a poem, go to the about page.

I’m Bold, I’m Brave

I’m bold, I’m brave, I know no fear.

I’m gallant as a bucceaner.

Is that a hornet by my ear?

Gangway! I’m out of here!

~ Jack Prelutsky

My Dog Fred

I have a dog.
His name is Fred.
He won't play fetch.
He won't play dead.

He won't shake hands
or sit or stay
or bark or beg
or run and play.

He won't roll over,
shake or crawl.
In fact, he won't
do tricks at all.

When folks ask why
I tell them that's
because my dog
was raised by cats.

–Kenn Nesbitt


Thesaurus

It’s cruel,

It’s awful,

It’s mean,

It’s terrible,

It’s downright detestable,

It’s a thesaurus.

~Annonymous

The Octopus

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I’d call me Us.

Ogden Nash


They’ve Put a Brassiere on a Camel

They’ve put a brassiere on a camel,
She wasn’t dressed proper, you know.
They’ve put a brassiere on a camel,
So that her humps wouldn’t show.
And they’re making other respectable plans,
They’re even even insisting the pigs should wear pants,
They’ll dress up the ducks if we give them the chance
Since they’ve put a brassiere on a camel.

They’ve put a brassiere on a camel,
They claim she’s more decent that way.
They’ve put a brassiere on a camel,
The camel had nothing to say.
They squeezed her into it, i’ll never know how,
They say that she looks more respectable now,
Lord knows what they’ve got in mind for the cow,
Since they’ve put a brassiere on a camel.

~Shel Silverstein